Ultimate Brutally Honest First-Time Homebuyer Survival Guide

Welcome to the Jungle: You’re a First-Time Homebuyer Now

So you’ve decided to buy a home. Congratulations on entering the most unstable housing market in a generation, where interest rates are high, sellers are delusional, and the only “starter home” left is a basement suite with a shower in the kitchen.

Still want in? Good. Let’s get you ready. Because buying your first home in 2025 isn’t like your parents’ charming tale of finding a detached house for $82,000 and splitting it with their best friends after a handshake and a bag of bagels. It’s a psychological battle, a financial experiment, and a contractual Hunger Games where the goal is not just to find a home—but to not get emotionally or financially obliterated in the process.

This guide is here to help you survive. We’re talking:

• Where to actually look for issues in a house (like, the spots inspectors hope you don’t check)

• What to say (and definitely not say) to your realtor

• Mortgages, commissions, legal fees, insurance, tax confusion, surprise plumbing rage

• And how not to cry when you realize your down payment just bought you a laundry closet in Burnaby

Let’s go.

Before You Even Call a Realtor: What You Need to Know, Do, and Emotionally Prepare For

You’re eager. You’ve been scrolling Realtor.ca, Zolo, Zealty, Realtylink, and even Facebook Marketplace (don’t do this) for months. You’re ready. Except… you’re probably not. Before you call a realtor, you need to do three things:

1. Look at Your Finances Like a Mean Accountant Would

You need to know:

• Your gross income (not what your friend who works for Shopify earns, but yours).

• Your monthly debt load: car loans, student loans, the “buy now, pay never” furniture you financed in 2022.

• Your credit score: anything under 680 and you’re going to be in B-mortgage hell.

• Your savings: enough for a down payment, closing costs, inspection fees, appraisal, AND the emergency plumber when your future home’s 1970s pipes betray you.

• Your comfort budget: not what the bank says you can afford. What you can sleep at night affording. These are two very different numbers.

PRO TIP: Banks will pre-approve you for a home that will leave you eating beans in the dark. Do not trust them. Set your own cap.

2. Get a Mortgage Broker, Not Just a Bank

You want someone who:

• Shops around for the best rates

• Knows how to explain terms without sounding like they’re auditioning for CNBC

• Tells you when something’s too much house

• Doesn’t make you sign everything in one sitting like you’re closing a celebrity NDA

Why not just your bank? Because they only sell their own products and won’t tell you about better rates down the street. A broker can access a buffet. The bank will feed you a single overpriced entrée and tell you it’s a deal.

Also, get pre-approved before you tour homes. Sellers will treat you like a cute window shopper if you don’t have a pre-approval letter in hand.

3. Brace for the Emotional Spiral

Buying your first home will feel like:

• Dating someone hotter than you who doesn’t text back

• A group project with six lawyers and a stress-eating mortgage underwriter

• Trying to solve a logic puzzle while bleeding cash

At some point, you will cry. That’s normal. At some other point, you will consider moving to Moncton. That’s also normal.

How to Choose (and Use) Your Realtor Without Becoming Besties or Getting Burned

Let’s get something straight: your realtor works for you. But also… kinda for themselves. Because they don’t get paid unless you buy something. That’s the game.

And while many realtors are amazing, hardworking human beings (some of them even have souls), you need to understand the dynamics of this relationship from Day 1. Otherwise, you might accidentally end up texting your realtor about your breakup at 11 p.m. while overbidding on a tear-down in New Westminster.

So here’s how to get this relationship right:

Choosing Your Realtor: It’s Like Hiring a Therapist Who Also Sells Houses

You don’t need someone with the glossiest Instagram or a Tesla wrapped in their face. You need someone who:

• Returns calls and emails without ghosting

• Understands the local market (like really understands—not just reposts from the Real Estate Board)

• Will tell you when a home is overpriced or built on soggy landfill

• Doesn’t pressure you to close quickly just to collect commission

• Actually reads strata documents before forwarding them to you with a “Thoughts?” email

Red Flags to Run From:

• “It’s just paint.”

• “Prices always go up.”

• “You’ll lose this one if you don’t act today.”

• “Don’t worry about that slope in the floor, it adds charm.”

No charm is worth a foundation repair.

Commission: The Thing No One Tells You About Until You’re Already Hooked

Here’s how it works in B.C. and most of Canada:

• Seller usually pays the commission.

• That commission is split between the listing agent (seller’s) and buyer’s agent (yours).

• Typical cut? 7% on the first $100K and 2.5–3% on the remainder.

• On a $1M home, that’s $25,000–$30,000, with your agent pocketing half.

So when you hear “my services are free to you,” understand this: They are absolutely not. They just get paid out of the sale price, and the higher that price? The more they earn.

Your job: pick an agent who understands their job is to get you value—not upsell you into a $1.1M condo with a leaking roof and “potential.”

How Close Should You Be With Your Realtor?

Close enough to:

• Tell them your max budget

• Confess that you’re scared

• Ask dumb questions about what “subject removal” actually means

• Get their honest opinion on a place without sales fluff

Not so close that you:

• Tell them you’ll go up in price if needed (don’t show your entire poker hand)

• Disclose your relationship status, job insecurity, inheritance, or the fact that your partner is iffy about moving

• Start crying over brunch about that one house in Burnaby that got away (they’re not your therapist)

Remember: you can be honest, but strategic. This is still a business transaction, not a summer camp friendship.

Types of Realtor Contracts (And What to Watch For)

There are two big types you’ll see:

1. Buyer’s Agency Agreement

• This is when a realtor becomes your exclusive agent for a period of time (30–90 days is common).

• They get a cut even if you find the house on your own.

• You’re locked in unless you cancel in writing—and some contracts are hard to break.

PRO TIP: If they ask you to sign an exclusive agreement on the first coffee date, smile politely and run. That’s like proposing before appetizers arrive.

2. No Contract / Informal Agreement

• Common in early stages. No paper trail = no obligation.

• Lets you try out a few agents (but don’t be a ghost—tell people if you’re moving on).

The Golden Rule: Don’t sign anything until you know they’re good. Tour a few places. See how they communicate. If you’re vibing, lock it in. But don’t hand over exclusivity just because they bought you a latte.

Houses by Decade: What You’re Getting Into Based on the Age of Your Future Money Pit

Every house has a story. And most of them are scary.
Not because they’re haunted (though maybe), but because a house is a living organism made of rotting wood, creaking pipes, and walls filled with secrets and asbestos.

When buying a home, one of the smartest things you can do is understand what era you’re dealing with—and what horrible surprises come bundled with it.

Here’s a breakdown of what each decade of homeownership actually means:

Pre-1940s: “Character Home” = Character Problems

• The Look: Gorgeous architecture, woodwork you can’t afford to replicate, crown mouldings, original stained glass, and radiators from the Depression.

• The Reality:

  • Knob-and-tube wiring (a literal fire hazard)

  • Galvanized steel pipes that rust and reduce water pressure to a sad trickle

  • Uneven floors that make your IKEA furniture look drunk

  • Old oil tanks buried in yards (removal = $10K+)

  • Asbestos everywhere: ceilings, walls, floors, attic insulation

  • Insulation made from crushed newspaper and broken dreams

Verdict: Romantic but deadly. You’ll need a contractor, an environmental report, and possibly a séance.

1950s–1960s: “Postwar Bungalows” and the Era of Lead Paint

• The Look: Low-slung roofs, hardwood floors, brick chimneys, unfinished basements begging to be “mortgage helpers.”

• The Reality:

  • Lead paint—do not sand that wall unless you want to start a health crisis

  • Asbestos popcorn ceilings and duct tape insulation on pipes

  • No wall insulation in many homes; drafty AF

  • Basements built for storage, not humans—retrofit costs a fortune

  • Electrical panels maxed out at 60 amps (can’t run your AC and toaster at the same time)

  • One bathroom only, always, with the toilet jammed next to the tub like they’re in a fight

Verdict: Solid bones, cute bones—but many hidden costs. You’ll love the street but question your life every winter.

1970s–1980s: The “Needs Updating” Era

• The Look: Split-levels, sunken living rooms, floorplans that make zero sense. Stucco for days.

• The Reality:

  • Poly-B plumbing: basically the evil cousin of PVC that bursts for fun

  • Aluminum wiring in some homes (not a deal-breaker, but expensive to insure)

  • No GFCI outlets near water—bathroom + hair dryer = risk

  • Vinyl tile that may or may not be asbestos-laced

  • Built-in bars, shag carpet in bathrooms, and “conversation pits” no one wants to talk in

Verdict: Buy for the lot, not the layout. Every update you make will feel like you’re tearing out a disco ball.

1990s: Weird Beige and Whispers of Mold

• The Look: Vinyl siding, peaked roofs, garages that dominate the front of the house.

• The Reality:

  • Leaky condo crisis (especially in Vancouver: CMHC leak repair reports)

  • Water ingress behind stucco that caused rot in thousands of homes

  • Cheap builder-grade everything: flooring, cabinetry, tile, faucets

  • Bathrooms with weird pastel tile and seashell sinks

  • Basements with half-finished rec rooms and gas fireplaces that haven’t worked since Y2K

Verdict: You’re not buying a house—you’re buying a correction plan for every design decision made in the Spice Girls era.

2000s: McMansion Energy

• The Look: Lots of square footage, oddly narrow lots, built-in niches for TVs that no longer exist.

• The Reality:

  • Fake stucco (EIFS) that can rot behind the scenes if not installed perfectly

  • Open concepts that aren’t great for noise, kids, or cooking smells

  • Drywall-over-everything renovations that hide past sins

  • HVAC systems that are loud, inefficient, and nearing the end of their life

Verdict: Not terrible—just overpriced for what you get. Probably okay if you avoid flashy developer flips.

2010s–2020s: “New Build” Doesn’t Mean “Good Build”

• The Look: Sleek, grey-on-grey boxes with black fixtures and laminate “hardwood.”

• The Reality:

  • Shoddy pre-sale construction with questionable quality control

  • Zero storage (“closets are a luxury, peasant”)

  • Paper-thin walls, even in detached homes

  • You’re paying a premium for finishes that age badly and kitchens that look good on Instagram but suck to cook in

  • Microunits disguised as “modern living”

Verdict: If you want low maintenance and can live with a bit of soul death, it’s fine. Just inspect like you’re checking a used car with a faked odometer.

Room by Room, Nightmare by Nightmare: The Home Inspection Checklist Realtors Hope You Don’t Read

Home inspections are where real estate dreams go to die.
You walk in thinking you found the one, and you walk out realizing the bathtub drains into the crawlspace and there's a squirrel Airbnb in the attic.

But here’s the trick: even good inspectors miss things. Some are lazy. Some are rushed. Some just assume you won’t know where to look, so they gloss over stuff.

That’s why you need to become a home inspection ninja. So here it is—the actual list of places you should be checking, asking about, and side-eyeing like your entire financial future depends on it (because it does).

Attic: The Mold Kingdom Nobody Talks About

• Lift that hatch. If there’s no access ladder, ask for one. If they say no, assume they’re hiding something.

• Look for black staining on plywood or rafters. Could be mold, could be rot, could be your next $15K remediation bill.

• Is the insulation evenly distributed? If not, your heat bill’s going to be a horror movie.

• Ventilation holes blocked? That means moisture buildup and a future roof replacement.

• Rodent droppings? Congratulations: your house came with tenants.

Roof: The Thing You Can’t Afford to Replace Right Now

• Age matters. Anything over 15 years? You need a professional roofer to inspect it.

• Shingles curling or missing? You’re going to get leaks faster than a tech company with a whistleblower.

• Flat roof? Even worse. Water pooling = roof death. Those last maybe 10–12 years tops.

Windows: Where Your Heat Goes to Die

• Do they open and close smoothly? Or do they sound like they’re screaming for mercy?

• Fog between panes? That’s failed insulation. Welcome to condensation hell.

• Single pane? Time to budget $15K+ for replacements, or wear a parka indoors every January.

Bathrooms: Where Water and Regret Meet

• Turn on all taps, including the shower, at once. Does the pressure collapse like your optimism?

• Flush the toilet. Does it gurgle, back up, or sound like it's gasping for air? Bad news.

• Check under the sink. Any warped wood, dampness, or weird smells = leaks.

• Check the base of the toilet. Soft floor = rot. This happens more than you think. If it rocks? Run.

• Tile grout missing or cracking? Water is already behind the wall. Budget for a full gut job.

Kitchen: Your Inspector Probably Spent 3 Minutes Here

• Open every cupboard. Especially under the sink. Warping = past or ongoing leak.

• Pull out the fridge and stove (if possible). Look behind for signs of past water damage or lazy renos.

• Tap the countertop edges. Hollow sound = cheap pressboard.

• Range hood venting to nowhere? Great, you’re cooking smells into your attic.

Basement: The Real Horror Show

• Smell. Just smell. If it’s musty, something is wrong. Don’t let candles fool you.

• Look for signs of past flooding: discolored baseboards, new drywall in one corner, boxes propped on shelves.

• Efflorescence on concrete walls (white, powdery stuff) = water is getting in. It’s not always a dealbreaker, but it needs addressing.

• Uneven floors or weirdly sloped rooms? Settlement or foundation issues. Budget a structural engineer consult.

Floors: Listen for the Crunch

• Walk around slowly. Feel for bounciness, squeaks, or cracking tile.

• Laminate buckling? It’s either poor installation or water damage. Or both.

• Transitions between rooms uneven? Could be a slapdash DIY reno job.

Walls & Ceilings: Home to All the Secrets

• Look for patches or repainting in weird spots. That’s often where stains were covered up.

• Ceiling stains or bubbling paint? Leaks from roof or plumbing. Don’t let them tell you “that was fixed.”

• Cracks around windows or doors? Possible shifting foundation or poor framing.

Electrical Panel: AKA The House’s Anxiety Center

• Is it labelled? If not, who knows what you’re shutting off.

• Aluminum wiring? Check insurance before you even offer.

• Fuses instead of breakers? Time for a panel upgrade—$2K+ depending on amperage.

• Signs of double-tapped breakers or messy wiring? Get an electrician to look, pronto.

Exterior: Curb Appeal is a Lie

• Cracks in foundation? Hairline = maybe fine. Quarter-inch and above = call someone fast.

• Downspouts disconnected? Water could be flowing right into your basement.

• Grading sloped toward the house? Welcome to annual flooding season.

• Decks pulling away from house? Rebuild, probably. Hope you weren’t budgeting for a vacation.

And don’t forget: always ask for past permits and reno history. No paperwork = probably illegal, uninspected, or both.

Mortgage Mayhem: Rates, Stress Tests, Hidden Fees, and Why Pre-Approval Isn’t Actually a Promise

So you’ve done the emotional prep, chosen your (hopefully decent) realtor, and made peace with the fact that the bathroom might collapse on you someday. Now it’s time to talk about the terrifying financial math wizardry that is Canadian mortgage lending.

Spoiler: it’s not designed to make sense. It's designed to extract money while pretending it’s doing you a favor. Let’s break it down, panic attack by panic attack:

Pre-Approval Is Not a Guarantee. It’s a Soft Maybe.

When a bank or mortgage broker “pre-approves” you, what they’re saying is:

“Based on what you’ve told us, and assuming you don’t buy something haunted, lose your job, or go rogue with a Tesla lease, we’d probably give you this much money.”

But the actual mortgage approval only happens once you have a signed offer on a home—and then the lender:

• Appraises the home (and if it’s overpriced or weird, they might lowball it)

• Reviews your paperwork again (yes, even if they already did it)

• Runs your file through their own internal panic protocol

This is why you don’t waive financing conditions unless you’re 100% approved and have backup cash.

Fixed vs Variable: The Eternal War

• Fixed Rate: Your payments don’t change. You’re boring and safe.

• Variable Rate: Payments can change with the prime rate. You’re brave or reckless or have no choice.

2025 reality: Fixed rates are still high. Variable might be lower for now, but it’s a gamble, especially with the Bank of Canada still freaking out every 6 weeks.

If you can’t sleep at night thinking about payment fluctuations, go fixed. If you have emergency savings, a steady job, and a therapist? Consider variable—but read the fine print on penalties.

The Stress Test: Because the Government Doesn’t Trust You (and Neither Should You)

Even if you’re getting a mortgage at 5.4%, you’ll be “tested” at around 7.4% or more.

Why? Because OSFI (the banking regulator) wants to make sure you can still afford your mortgage if rates spike. This is called the qualifying rate, and it will reduce how much you can borrow—usually by 10–20%. So when your friend tells you they’re approved for $800,000, the bank actually thinks they can handle $5,000/month payments.

Tip: Use this to your advantage. Stress test yourself. Ask:

“Can I still pay this if I lose one income or rates go up 2%?”

If the answer is “lol no,” revise that price ceiling.

Down Payments: Why 5% Isn't Enough (Emotionally or Logically)

• 5% down: You can technically do this, but you’ll pay for it in mortgage insurance (CMHC) and higher interest rates.

• 20% down: Avoids CMHC premiums, but it’s a fortune in most cities.

• 10–15%: Middle ground, still insurance fees but not devastating.

Pro Tip: Your down payment should be in your account at least 90 days before the offer goes in. And no, borrowing your uncle’s RRSP and paying him back secretly is not going to fly with the lender.

Mortgage Insurance (CMHC): The Scam You’re Required to Buy

If you put down less than 20%, you must get mortgage insurance through CMHC, Sagen, or Canada Guaranty.

You pay for this “privilege.” Thousands. Rolled into your mortgage. To protect the bank—not you. It doesn’t cover you if you lose your job. It covers the lender if you default.

Closing Costs: The Part Everyone Forgets Until It’s Too Late

You need an extra 3–5% of the purchase price on top of your down payment for things like:

• Property transfer tax (PTT): 1–3% in B.C., unless you qualify for first-time buyer exemptions (read the fine print).

• Legal fees: $1,000–$2,000 for conveyancing and document prep.

• Appraisal: $300–$500, often required by your lender.

• Inspection: $400–$800 (worth every penny).

• Title insurance: $200–$400.

• Adjustments: You might have to pay the seller for prepaid taxes, utilities, or strata fees.

Do not drain your savings on the down payment alone. That’s how you end up house-rich and ramen-poor.

Your Realtor Isn’t Your Financial Advisor, Therapist, or Priest—What Not to Say, Share, or Overshare

You’ve been touring homes together. They’ve seen your face light up at clawfoot tubs. You’ve swapped texts about kitchen lighting at 11:42 p.m. You’re practically trauma bonded from that one open house where the bathroom had a urinal in the kitchen.

So it’s tempting to treat your realtor like a friend. Don’t.

They are a commissioned sales professional in a business transaction. Yes, many are lovely humans. Yes, some of them will go to your wedding. But in the heat of the deal, their job is to close—and your job is to protect your position. Here’s what to never share with your realtor (even if you think they’re “on your side”):

🚫 “We can actually go up $100K if needed.”

Stop right there. You’ve just handed away all your negotiation leverage. Now, when it comes time to bid, guess what number they’ll suggest? That’s right: whatever gets you to your ceiling, not necessarily what wins the home or protects your wallet.

What to say instead:

“This is our number. We’re not comfortable going higher.”

Be polite, be firm, be mysterious.

🚫 “We’re desperate. We need to move next month.”

That may be true. But revealing time pressure makes you a mark.

Time pressure = emotional pressure = rushed decisions = overpaying.

Your realtor doesn’t need to know how bad the mold is in your rental bathroom or that your landlord just turned off the hot water. Keep that stuff between you and your group chat.

🚫 “My parents are giving me $200K.”

Unless you need help structuring the gift letter for your lender, there is no need to flaunt your cash reserves.

Again: every dollar you reveal becomes a bargaining chip against you.

🚫 “We just love this place so much. We HAVE to get it.”

Nope. Not even if it’s true. Definitely not at a showing. Definitely definitely not in front of the listing agent. Emotions are what sellers (and their agents) exploit.

Feel all your feelings later. In private. With wine.

🚫 “We want to buy now because we’re expecting a baby / getting married / just got a big inheritance.”

No one outside your immediate family should know these details during a deal.

Life events = perceived urgency = weaker buyer position.

Your agent’s job is to negotiate and position you, not act as your life coach.

🤝 What You Should Tell Your Realtor:

• Your comfort price ceiling

• Your deal breakers (leaky condos, stairs, no outdoor space, whatever)

• Your preferred locations and non-negotiables

• How much you understand (or don’t) about the buying process

• Whether you have conditional financing or are ready to go firm

Clarity is helpful. Vulnerability is not.

PRO TIP: If your realtor ever makes you feel uncomfortable for holding firm on price, not being emotional enough, or asking too many questions That’s a red flag—not your personality.

You don’t owe them your diary. You owe yourself protection.

The Offer Gauntlet: How to Navigate Subjects, Counteroffers, and the Legal Chaos That Follows

You've finally found a place. It doesn’t smell weird, your partner didn’t flinch, and the bathroom is (mostly) in the bathroom. You’re ready to offer. Now comes the most fragile, high-stakes stage of the entire buying process—the Offer Gauntlet™, where your dream of homeownership teeters on a knife’s edge of paperwork, conditions, and whether the seller happens to be emotionally stable that day.

Let’s break this mess down:

Step 1: The Offer

This is where your realtor drafts a Contract of Purchase and Sale and submits it to the listing agent. It includes:

• The price you’re offering

• The deposit (more on that in a second)

• The subjects (conditions) you want to include

• The completion and possession dates

• Any inclusions (appliances, window coverings, weird statue in the garden—you can ask)

And here’s the key: once signed by both parties? It’s a legally binding contract. You can’t just change your mind because Mercury is in retrograde.

Your Subjects (Aka Your Last Chance to Back Out Without Being Sued)

Subjects are clauses that protect you while you finalize key pieces of the puzzle. Common ones include:

• Subject to financing: Until your lender fully approves your mortgage for this specific home.

• Subject to inspection: So you can hire someone to poke the attic and flush the scary toilet.

• Subject to review of strata documents: If it’s a condo, you’ll want to see past meeting minutes, financials, bylaws, and special levies (translation: future fees of doom).

• Subject to lawyer review: Optional but smart if anything looks fishy.

Rule of Thumb: Always include at least financing and inspection—unless you enjoy anxiety and lawsuits.

Timeline? Subjects usually have a 5–10 business day window. You’ll use this time to do all your due diligence.

Step 2: The Deposit

Once your offer is accepted, you typically need to submit a deposit within 24 hours—usually 5% of the purchase price.

• It goes into the trust account of the buyer’s or seller’s brokerage (not to the seller directly).

• It’s applied toward your down payment at closing.

• If your offer falls through within subject conditions, you get it back.

• If you remove subjects and then back out, the seller keeps your money.

Translation: Once you go firm, your money is on the table. No pressure!

Step 3: Counteroffers and Negotiation Games

Your offer might get:

• Accepted as-is (rare unless you overbid or it's been sitting for months)

• Rejected (sad trombone)

• Countered

A counteroffer changes some element—usually the price or subjects—and resets the whole contract. You then accept, counter again, or walk.

TIPS:

• Set your ceiling before you enter the back-and-forth.

• If emotions get high, take a pause. You’re allowed to sleep on it. Really.

• Use your realtor to relay firmness—not desperation.

Going Firm: Removing Subjects

You’ve done your due diligence. Financing is approved. The inspection didn’t reveal a basement that’s actually just a hole in the Earth.

Now you “remove subjects,” and your offer becomes unconditional. This is the point of no return. You are legally bound to complete the sale—or face a lawsuit and/or lose your deposit.

Completion Day: When the Money Moves

• Your lawyer/notary handles this.

• You wire the remainder of your down payment, minus the deposit already paid.

• The lender wires the mortgage funds.

• The lawyer pays the seller.

• You now legally own the house, even if you haven’t walked in yet.

Possession Day: When You Actually Get the Keys

Usually a day or two after completion. You meet your agent, unlock the door, and walk into:

• Your dream

• Or a very real, slightly dusty reminder that houses are never as clean as they were during showings

And that’s it. You’re in. Welcome to the club. Your back hurts already.

Condo vs Townhouse vs Detached: What You’re Really Buying—and What’s Lurking in the Fine Print

You’ve made it through the gauntlet. You’ve seen the listings, survived the financing drama, and now you’re narrowing it down: do you want to live in a condo, a townhouse, or a detached home?

Good question. Because each comes with its own financial landmines, emotional baggage, and fine print disasters.

Let’s break it down.

Condos: The Gateway Drug to Ownership

You’re likely here if:

• You’re buying solo or as a couple

• You want the lowest upfront cost

• You’re okay with vertical living and minimal outdoor space

• You say things like “I don’t mind strata fees if it means I don’t shovel snow”

What you’re getting:

• A unit in a multi-unit building

• Shared hallways, elevators, amenities

• A strata council that governs the building like it’s a very petty small-town government

What can go wrong:

• Special levies: Surprise! You owe $26,000 next month because the parkade membrane is leaking and the building was built in 1998.

• Paper-thin walls: You’ll know exactly when your neighbor’s baby discovers their vocal range.

• Low strata fees ≠ good: It usually means the building is underfunding repairs.

• Insurance deductibles: Some buildings now have water damage deductibles of $250,000. Yes, that’s real.

Checklist:

• Read at least two years of strata meeting minutes

• Look at the Depreciation Report (aka: the forecast of doom)

• Confirm insurance coverage and deductibles

• Ask about rental and pet bylaws (don’t assume they’re standard)

• Check if there's contingency reserve funding. No savings = big future problems

Townhouses: The Middle Child of Housing

You’re likely here if:

• You want a bit more space but can't afford detached

• You dream of a little backyard or a garage

• You like the idea of shared maintenance but not elevators

What you’re getting:

• A multi-level unit that’s attached to others

• Often strata-managed, with shared roofing, siding, and landscaping

• A small outdoor area, sometimes private

What can go wrong:

• Strata drama: It’s like condo politics but closer to home, literally.

• You still pay for stuff you don’t control (like exterior painting, drainage systems)

• Older townhomes may need full envelope replacement, especially the ones from the ‘90s and early 2000s

• Layout roulette: Half of them feel like converted hotels with weird staircases

Checklist:

• Ask who’s responsible for windows, doors, fences, and roofing (every complex is different)

• Look at strata minutes and depreciation report

• Check the age of the roof, siding, gutters, and parking lot paving

Detached Homes: The Dream (And the Full-Time Job)

You’re likely here if:

• You’re rich

• Or your family gave you $400K

• Or you moved to a town where the Starbucks closes at 5 p.m.

What you’re getting:

• Full control of the property

• Your own roof, land, and maintenance headaches

• No strata to save you from yourself

What can go wrong:

• Everything. It’s your problem now.

• Roof leak? You fix it.

• Sewer backup? You fix it.

• Your foundation is sinking? $60K, please.

• Your fence fell over? That’s another weekend gone.

Checklist:

• Plumbing age: Poly-B? Copper? Cast iron? Know it.

• Electrical system: Amperage, panel age, type of wiring

• Foundation inspection: Look for cracks, leaks, settlement

• Roof age and type

• Drainage slope: If water drains toward your home, your home is doomed

• Sewer scope inspection: Especially for older homes (roots grow in pipes!)

Bonus: Leasehold, Co-ops, and Pre-Sale Nightmares

Leasehold: You don’t own the land, just the right to occupy it. The land may be owned by a government or Indigenous group. Resale value is lower, financing is trickier, and lease expiration is scary.

Co-op: You’re buying shares in a corporation, not a unit. Requires board approval. Often cheaper but very restrictive. Think “real estate as roommate audition.”

Pre-Sale: Pay now, move in later. May never get built. May be built badly. May be priced higher at closing than it’s worth. No guarantees. Read our full exposé on pre-sale problems here.

You Bought the House. Now What? Utilities, Insurance, Repairs, and the Emotional Comedown of Ownership

You did it. You bought a home. The keys are yours. You took the selfie. Your mom cried. Your realtor texted a champagne emoji. And now… reality sets in.

Because the house? It’s all yours. Every creak, every draft, every bill, every 3 a.m. panic about that weird dripping sound? That’s you now, buddy. This is where the emotional high of winning the housing war fades into the gritty, confusing, surprisingly expensive aftermath of ownership.

Let’s walk through it, step by step.

🔌 Set Up Your Utilities Before You Freeze to Death

Don’t assume they’re automatically transferred. You’ll need to call:

• Hydro (electricity)

• Gas (FortisBC or local equivalent)

• Water/sewer (usually municipal)

• Internet (because you’re not living in 1860)

• Garbage collection (often bundled with taxes, but check)

PRO TIP: Do this a week before possession, not the day of. Some companies need 48–72 hours to process setup.

🏠 Get Home Insurance Before You Take Possession

Yes, your lender will require this. Yes, it needs to be active before the title transfers. No, your condo building’s insurance does not cover your unit’s contents or upgrades.

What to consider:

• Replacement value vs actual cash value

• Flood and earthquake coverage (especially in B.C.—hi, Cascadia!)

• Strata deductible protection (a must if you live in a condo with a $500K water damage deductible)

• Loss of use coverage in case you’re temporarily displaced

Pro tip: Bundle with auto insurance if you want a discount, but compare standalone brokers too.

🔧 Your First 3 Months of Ownership: A To-Do List That Never Ends

💧 Check for leaks, everywhere: Under sinks, Around toilets, Inside the furnace room, Behind the washer, Around windows during rain.

Even small leaks can destroy drywall or flooring fast. Water is the homeowner's silent assassin. Service the furnace: Unless you want it to fail on the first cold night. $150–$250 for a tune-up = money well spent. Build a basic repair fund: Stuff will break. Have $3,000–$5,000 minimum set aside. You’ll need it. Set mouse traps: Seriously. New homes are often full of tiny crawlspaces and gaps. You don’t want to discover a colony two months in.

🧽 Deep clean the things the seller never did:

• Behind the stove

• Inside the range hood

• Baseboards

• Inside the dishwasher filter (brace yourself)

💸 Welcome to Bill Shock

Here’s what’s probably more expensive than you expected:

• Property taxes (in BC: $3,000–$8,000/year is common)

• Heating (gas or electric—you'll learn which one you hate more)

• Home insurance (up again in 2025)

• Strata fees (if applicable—these rise like rent)

• Maintenance (because yes, your gutter really does need cleaning)

😫 The Emotional Comedown

Let’s talk about it. You’ll go through phases:

1. Euphoria – “We did it! We’re real adults!”

2. Anxiety – “Oh my god, did we buy a money pit?”

3. Anger – “Why is this plumbing from 1971 still allowed to exist?”

4. Acceptance – “Okay, I own this now. Time to fix it, paint it, and Google everything.”

Every homeowner feels this. It’s normal. Just don’t panic and list it 3 months later. Give it a year. Learn it. Live in it. You’ll figure it out.

🛠️ Final Words of Brutal, Loving Advice

• Your house will never be perfect. Even if it's new. Especially if it's new.

• You will miss renting sometimes—mainly when something breaks.

• DIY projects will go 40% over budget and take 3x longer.

• Owning a home won’t make you happy. But it can give you control.

Control over your space. Over your future. Over your financial foundation. And yes, sometimes you’ll cry into your overpriced mortgage statement—but you’ll be doing it in your own damn living room.